3 Steps To Create A Positive Mindset
For some people, it's difficult to really appreciate their own self-worth. Constructive criticism is seen as an insult, and support systems feel fake. Some of these people might be amazing and have untapped potential at their fingertips. But the inability to see it is detrimental.
I definitely think I slot into this group, from a young age I've felt second best and (if I'm honest) a bit thick. I really struggle to process the fact that I'm good at things, and I have some very deep-seated trust issues. Over time I've been able to brush these niggling little voices to the back of my mind and parade myself as a confident and carefree individual. But those feelings of not being good enough never go away, and I would be lying if I said they didn't impact any of my life choices.
Last summer, I worked at a charity as the PR manager. The charity itself had a fantastic policy for looking after the staff and supporting them both physically and mentally. Three times a year, each member of the team received a therapy session with a life coach and every single person in the office was a trained mental health first aider. When I attended my first session with the life coach, it became very apparent that I let negative comments cling to me like glue and thrived off direct, positive feedback for weeks. I saw any type of criticism as an insult to my ability and often doubted the quality of work I could create.
Basically, I was an emotional little 20 years old.
During this session, she sat and worked with me on some ways where I could improve my mindset. A lot of her methods have really helped me develop into a less chaotic person. Both in and out of my working life. Of course, there is always room for self-growth, and the journey to being a whole, positive and efficient person is never-ending. But I thought it was worth sharing a few methods with you nonetheless!
Journal
I know that the idea of journaling comes up a lot in blogs like these. But writing down your thoughts and feelings has the same effect on your mental state as talking it through with a family member/ close friend. Its often used by people looking to process their feelings and the events of that day, and it can be done without judgement. Your journal is your space, it doesn't have to be a "Dear Diary," style entry. You could bullet point your feelings, sketch your feelings or write them out like essays. But ending the working day with an hour of writing helps you not only reflect on the pro's and con's of the day but lets you shut them off as you move onto your next task.
Focus On The Good Bits
There is a pro to every con and vice versa, you just have to take the time to identify them both. If something impactful has happened, take a moment and work out the good bits and the bad bits.
Almost burnt the dinner? Almost is the keyword there!
Co-worker feels like being a div? It's most likely not your fault and something outside of the office. Try to make them a cuppa and see how they're doing.
In most situations, there is always a positive side, try to find it. Even if it sounds a little bit silly, it does make you feel better. You could also use your journal for making a tally of pros and cons.
Create Your Own Positivity Loop
This one is my absolute favourite! I'd never heard of a positive feedback loop before sitting down with the life coach. A positive feedback loop encourages a person to break down their day into three questions. Okay, so it's basically a more in-depth version of the pros/cons method I just mentioned but its best to work through self-analysis in stages. You don't want to sit down and start journaling about you're deepest darkest emotions on day one; the key is baby steps!
By creating a daily positivity loop, you're consistently monitoring your growth in a way which is comforting and efficient. Positivity loops are often used to help an individual bluntly analyse their own wins and look for areas of improvement. Here's an example of a positivity loop:
There we go! I know this list may feel minute and repetitive but trust me, it's not. It's important to remember that like Rome, most things can not be built in a day. If this was the case gyms, therapists offices and any place which encourages self-growth would be empty. I find it best to think of the journey to positive mental wellbeing like growing a plant. You need to nurture the plant over weeks and months before it flowers.